So March 25th 2020 my mother passed away so as the anniversary of my mothers death comes, I have learnt some tough lessons about life and just how precious it is. The growth that comes from dealing with loss is hugely important and not an easy task to come by. There is no rule book on death and how to cope with it. If only there was.

Grief comes at you quick with no warning, like mums death I wasn’t ready for it and I wasn’t ready for the life that comes after. The burden became too much for me and even for my heart to take. My heart is and was broken.

Death changes a person and it can either change you to be a hard person or a angry person in a blink of an eye.

From that point onwards my heart is completely numb to the pain. It has been said it can take 18-24 months on average for someone to heal from a significant loss and man does that ring true with me. The heaviness and emptiness that I feel about her passing is still with me every step of the way. A feeling that I have been told that it doesn’t go away it just becomes easier to deal with. Which is true, it’s becoming easier I guess.

Me becoming a parent has changed me. I’m more aware about what my role is as a parent and care giver. I’m also not oblivious to the pain my grandparents feel as they had to bury their child which no parent wants.

So as tomorrow comes, I’m hoping I feel at peace with the loss of my mother.