As I write this lying in the dark at 6am. I have come to a hard realisation about how I have been feeling for the last couple of days. The whole feeling of being blocked and overwhelmed sweeps through me in a way I don’t recognise.
friends of mine have always said that im like the ice queen of the friendship tied with another friend of mine, love and relationships is something I have never chased for because of what I have experienced. When I look at the whole love thing I’m sure it’s great and all that. What is the point of it?
I have never had a problem with race or any of that because it’s never been that for me. I don’t look at race as dating flaw. I like who I like or love who I love. Trust me I get preference, everyone is entitled to have their own.
Found this picture and it rings true to me. When I love hard, I love with every fibre of my body. I find it hard to reconcile the feelings I have and I know it’s because of whatever I’m going through at the moment. I’m probably the strongest chick in the game.
So I’m saying goodbye to this rubbish feeling I have the feeling of being worn out and you. what I’m saying hello to is the future that I have planned. I’m saying goodbye to what could have been and saying hello to that just worked out feeling. while I would always choose you, I don’t know if you would ever choose me. Or maybe I’m just using my Gemini head and the two minds I have about it is running riot. but anyways goodbye for now and hello to my groove that I need back that self-confidence I have and self-love I have for me.
Goodbye Angie xx