Thinkng About You…..

You know what’s really strange human relationships. I find that the way we as humans always treat others strange. Now I’m in bed thinking back to all the times my friends have told me about what’s happening in their lives. I love to hear whatever is going and I listen with no judgement because I would want the same for me. 

I’m never going to be one of those girls who likes to broadcast what’s happens at home. But I could and if I really opened my heart to what goes on I could be here all day. 

So I’m not going to do that. My last post was about struggle and we as human beings will always struggle it’s what we do with that struggle and growth afterwards is how we grow and I have become aware that I have changed for the better.

 I’m more open to change and open to relationships and heartbreak. Well as open as I can be. I will only be open when someone shows me something awesome. I have seen a lot in 24 years, granted I’m young but with my eyes wide open and my ears unblocked the one thing that doesn’t change is the perception of how men are. 

Maybe I haven’t seen a man who change and show a different side then what we see. In the last couple of years I have had the pleasure of getting to know great men and I call them that because they aren’t boys they are men. They act accordingly which makes me happy and makes me feel better about when they meet the women of their dreams everything will be great for them. 

Someone once said to me I’m emotionally unavailable maybe it’s true, maybe it isn’t but I do know is that I haven’t had the best luck in that field for a long time. Maybe the emotional side of me will forever be closed off who knows. All I know is I have my Tupac ready for me and he never lets me down. Back to human relationships I have always thought men and women can be friends it just about how much they want that friendship. 

Sex and love doesn’t have to complicate a friendship but of course most of that time it will. What people don’t understand is that most relationships are built on some kind of friendship. So taking that step in a friendship can sometimes wreck the friendship you have spent so long building. Apparently most men who have friends with woman think about how what it will be like to take that step with a woman, I wouldn’t know about that but I can see how that makes sense. My take on that is that they want to see if there is any potential there. Which is why it’s a lot harder for women to be friends with men it goes deeper then friendship and companionship. When a woman confides in a man it goes a lot deeper than what she shows. Skin deep almost. 

As I write this I’m not saying not to be friends with man but I think if the boundaries are not set in motion in the beginning, the lines will get blurred which is something I’m dealing with and boy it’s hard to do deal with. My mind is split in two in one hand I want to see if what I feel is real or lie. The other hand I’m just going to pretend it doesn’t exist. Because I can’t deal with it. Or I refuse to haha. I’m very good avoiding things. Maybe I just need to learn how to not avoid things. The mind is a beautiful thing and we as humans have to believe that. 

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